Two It Is … Es Sind Zwei … Est Il Deux …

No matter the language of the WAR server (assuming my translations above are correct) … Games Workshop has officially ruled that their Fantasy Battle gaming universe is a struggle between two factions — Order and Destruction.

This alignment pretty much seals the deal on a Third Realm — there won’t be one. It doesn’t get any more official than GW putting it into their Fantasy Battle rulebook. Sour grapes aside, let’s focus on what we have and what may come.

To recap, the Warhammer universe is now defined by a constant battle between these two competing forces:

ORDER
Bretonnia
Dwarf
Empire
High Elves
Lizardmen
Wood Elves

DESTRUCTION
Beastmen
Chaos
Dark Elves
Greenskins
Skaven
Vampire Counts

Granted, no official announcement has come out declaring anything from a WAR sense … but with the game already a two realm matchup and this clarification it’s clear where any sort of racial expansion could go. The only oddity is the Lizardmen aligned with Order. Imagine tossing back some ale at the Blowhole Tavern with a Kroxigor … or inviting a Skink to help clear Crypts. I mean, snakes and reptiles aren’t to be trusted. My phobia of cold-blooded creatures notwithstanding, we can discuss lore every which way. Would they have been a more interesting neutral party along with the Ogre Kingdoms and Tomb Kings? Perhaps.

The deck is heavily stacked in Destro’s favor in terms of coolness. My former post on the Forces of Disease looks pretty good right now having the Vamps on board — except for the whole third realm assertion … and that I didn’t mention vampires. Should WAR expansions start rolling out with new races, Destro has it made and should see a surge in numbers.

  • Skaven are by far, the most requested race players want added to the game. People would sell their children for a chance to play as a rat. Honest, they would. Read the forums … if you can find the threads … which I sort of can’t … because they’re new and sort of suck. Oh wait, you can’t! All the old posts appear to be gone!
  • Vampires, in general, are popular. Whether you like Twilight or not (I think it’s lame plus those aren’t real vampires), the aristocrats of the undead, rule. I mentioned the lame-o movie series, there’s also True Blood, The Gates, and The Vampire Diaries … vampires have never been more cool, hip, and mainstream. (And that’s why they will fail.)
  • Chaos, in a sense, is four armies in one. Current Chaos players all follow Tzeentch … whether they like it or not. That still leaves Khorne, Nurgle, and Slaanesh. Would we see a future expansion that simply allows players to select their mark? And in doing so would each class become different depending upon the mark?
  • The Dark Elves are already one of the most popular races having two of the most popular and powerful classes in the game (Disciple, Sorcerer).
  • Greenskins are zany, hulking, sneaky, and also contain some nasty classes (Choppa, Squig Herder).
  • And lastly the Beastmen … well … they’re beasts … who walk like men. Destro can’t have all the stud races … they can manage one dud.

Order needs some sexy. So I suppose as some sort of consolation … they get the Lizardmen. Which have also been mentioned a great deal on the forums (try and find those posts … YOU CAN’T! THEY’RE GONE!). The other two additions to the Order tent are lackluster on the surface. Dwarfs and High Elves are population miscreants … lowest in the game. And if not for the Warrior Priest and Bright Wizard, how awesome would Empire be? So to boost their numbers they get Bretonnia … more humans, and Wood Elves … more elves. Does that WOW you? A new army of polite, well-mannered humans on horses and redneck elves. I mean, feral elves who have an affinity for nature.

If Skaven are to be the first new race we see, Order needs something added in order to keep them viable. And the only race I see as being sexy enough to draw new players for them are the Lizardmen.

A Skaven/Lizardmen pairing makes a lot of sense from the rodent/reptile perspective. And Bretonnia with all its grailing, questing, and chivalry make them the goodie-goods of WAR and therefore should be paired with the evilest of evil, Vampires. And where no one should argue, Beastmen/Wood Elves make sense.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll devote a post to each of these new races promising to take a positive outlook on their viability and potential if added to the WAR as well as some other thoughts this official grouping could mean for the game.

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7 Responses to “Two It Is … Es Sind Zwei … Est Il Deux …”

  1. Yes, order are either drunk fat midgets, crossdressers or codpiece-feather-wearing maniacs. 😦

    Btw, I’m not german but I can tell you the translation is wonky. It would be “Zwei es ist” afaik. 😛

  2. Lizardmen using the aution house in Altdorf, that’s a sight I really don’t want to see 😛

  3. I would translate it as “Es sind zwei”.. German is a tricky language, the grammar of it in particular. 😉

    I agree that the proposed races for the two realms favor Destruction in terms of coolness, but never again say anything against dwarves or you are an entry in my Book of Grudges 😉 (Playing in a dwarf-only-guild)

    • Thanks, Ziz! Made the updates … I’m guessing German changes the ordering of the words (and my French up there is probably also in need of reversing).

      Ah … don’t put me in your book … I’m a friend to the dwarves. In fact I have a R33 IB I love to play. Dwarf-only Guild … that’s hardcore.

    • Hehe, German isn’t my native language but I knew that it translates into es. It didn’t sound right, but my knowledge of german ends there. 🙂

      • Well.. it’s my native language and even I have to think about the correct translation/wording.. 😉

        There are two possible translations for “Two it is”.
        Es sind zwei
        Zwei sind es.

        The first is the better sentence, the latter would be a more precise translation to “two it is”.

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